Resilience Builder

The Coconut Palm 

Look at the image of the Coconut palm tree. 

Palm trees grow in many places that have tropical storms and hurricanes. Unlike many other trees, they are able to withstand very powerful winds. Palm trees can do this through a combination of being strongly rooted in the ground, but at the same time being very flexible above the ground. 

The tree has three different sections. There is the root system underground. There is the trunk stretching upwards, and there is the canopy containing all the palm leaves. 
The roots of the tree spread out in every direction from the central bulb. See in the illustration how they stretch even wider than the branches above them. When the storm comes these roots act like tension cables holding the tree to the ground so it will not be uprooted. Whichever direction the wind blows they are able to take the strain.
 
The trunk of the tree survives the storm in a very different way. Rather than trying to stay in the same position, it instead allows the wind to bend it. It does not oppose the force. It is flexible, adapting to the new situation. Through this flexibility the trunk avoids the risk of snapping or breaking in two.
The canopy is at the very top of the tree. Even with the roots remaining strong and the trunk bending, the canopy will still be buffeted by the storm. If you visit somewhere that has just had a tropical storm you will probably see palm leaves on the ground everywhere. During the storm the tree will lose some palm branches and many of the coconuts that were growing will likely fall too.  

Now imagine the palm tree represents who you are. 
Like the tree, your life and identity is made out of many different parts. 
These could include:

your beliefs,     
your values, 
your hopes, 
your expectations, 

your fears, 
your personality, 
your occupation, 
your interests, 

your hobbies, 
your habits, 
your preferences, 
your family, 

your relationships, 
your community, 
your status, 
your nationality. 

Take some time to consider the things that make up your life and identity relating to the categories listed above. There may be other factors too. 

On a sheet of paper write a list of all the things about who you are that come to mind. 

When you have finished your list think again about the palm tree. The list you have made can be divided into the three sections of the tree.

On a separate sheet of paper write or draw the three sections of the tree - roots at the bottom, then the trunk, and the canopy at the top.

There will be some things on your list that will be in the root section. These are the things about your life that are permanent and unchanging. They hold you firm and give you strength to keep going. What are the things about you that remain the same whatever the circumstances? What are the factors buried deep at your core? What aspects of your identity are fixed in place and give you stability? 

Go through all the things you have written down on your first list.  Add all the root factors you identify to the root section on your new page. 

There will be other aspects of who you are that are represented by the trunk of the tree. In order to survive change it is important to be flexible to the new circumstances. What are the parts of your identity that need to adapt? What are the areas where instead of holding rigidly to what used to be, you need to embrace something new and allow the wind to shape you? There may be some areas where you have already adapted, and others where you recognise the need to make a change in the future.

Go through all the things you have written down and above the list of root factors you just made, write down with all your trunk factors. 

There will also be some things about how you used to be that you may have to let go of completely. These are represented by the canopy. All storms result in some loss. Like falling coconuts, a lot of the fruit of your former life may be lost. It may take time for new and possibly different fruit to grow in its place. It is natural to feel grief and pain relating to the things you have lost. Coming to terms with that loss is a process that takes time. It is important, however, to be able to let some things go and to choose to move on. What factors of who you are have you had to give up already? Are there other aspects where it could be necessary or beneficial for you to let go? 

Go through all the things you have written down and at the top of the page write down your canopy factors.

Surviving the storm requires us to be like the Coconut Palm tree. There are some things you need to hold on to tightly to help you maintain a sense of who you are when everything else is changing. There are other areas where you need to be flexible and to choose to change. It is not healthy or possible for you to continue exactly as you were. You need to adapt in order to function and flourish in the new environment. And there are also things you will have give up, maybe for a time or maybe permanently. Giving these things up can be hard at the time, but like with the tree, when the storm is over, there is the chance for new growth. 

​Over the next days remind yourself of your palm tree list.

Stand firm and remember the roots of who you are

Be flexible and choose to adapt to the new environment

Let go of the aspects of your former life that you cannot hold on to during the storm ​​